What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? – Mental Health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? – Mental Health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? – Mental Health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

By Bryan Wright 100 Comments August 18, 2019


– Hey everybody. Today I’m gonna talk about
Reactive Attachment Disorder. What is it, and what are
our treatment options? (light, happy music) Now Reactive Attachment Disorder falls under trauma and
stressor-related disorders. And I’m looking down because I got my handy, dandy DSM. And as you know, as I always say, it’s not the end-all, be-all, but it helps us categorize things that we may be feeling and experiencing, and it helps us get covered by insurance. So, it’s under trauma and
stress-related disorders, and I think that’s important to mention because Reactive Attachment Disorder is something that happens to
children who have witnessed or been in a very traumatic
either one experience, or up-bringing as a whole. Now, I’m just gonna read some
of the diagnostic criteria for Reactive Attachment Disorder, and then we’ll kind of
get into the nitty-gritty about why it happens, where it comes from, and what we can do to fix it. So the diagnostic criteria starts out with a consistent pattern of inhibited, emotionally-withdrawn behavior towards adult caregivers, manifested by both of the following, so you have to have these. The child is rarely or minimally seeks comfort when distressed, or the child rarely or minimally responds to comfort when distressed. So, the best way that
I can describe this is children who may, like,
let’s say, fall down and bump their knee and they start crying, and they don’t want anybody to help them. They don’t want the parent to come. If the parent does they withdraw. They usually don’t want any comfort. Which as we know if you’ve
been around children, is not the “normal” experience. And that’s when, as a clinician, we would consider looking into this and maybe getting the family some help. The second criteria is a persistent social and emotional disturbance characterized by at least two of the following, so there are three and they
have to have two of these. The first is minimal social and emotional responses to others. Like I said, it’s like
withdrawing and looking away. They don’t want to connect with people. Two is limited positive affect. Now positive affect is like. (laughs) All these happy, positive
facial expressions, that’s what we call “affect”, it’s like how we express
ourselves to others. Blunted would be nothing. Make sense? The third is episodes of
unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during non-threatening interactions with adult caregivers. I think of this, kind of,
is like that hyper-vigilant feeling that a lot of children will have that have gone through things like this. And they’ll all of a sudden
feel really irritable and agitated and they won’t know why. Number three. Rearing in unusual settings
that severely limit opportunities to form
selective attachments. The examples that they
give are institutions with high child-to-caregiver ratio. So they don’t really get much attention. Maybe no attention at all, even if they maybe fall
and hurt themselves, maybe nobody sees that that has happened. And the other important
criteria I’m gonna discuss is the fact that the
criteria cannot be met for an autism spectrum disorder, the disturbance is evident
before the age of five, and the child has a developmental age of at least nine months. So between nine months and five, and they can’t be on the autism spectrum. And I think those are really important, as a clinician I’m always
looking for age ranges and also limitations. So if there’s already a diagnosis of this, does that rule out that? And we call that, kind of like, differential diagnosis
in the therapy world, but it just means we’re making sure that we’re giving you the diagnosis that best fits your symptoms. Also, it’s important to note that the, it says that the disorder
must have been present for more than 12 months,
so more than a year. And also, I wanna read this little caveat, because it says, “It’s unclear whether
Reactive Attachment Disorder “occurs in older children, and if so, “how it differs from its
presentation in younger children.” So even if it happens in older kids, does it look any different than this? Maybe not. “Because of this, the
diagnosis should be made “with caution in children
older than five years.” So, that’s just telling us, it’s almost like personality disorders, we’re not supposed to give that diagnosis before someone’s 18, but some people do, but they do it with intense caution, because they feel like
they do meet the criteria and there’s been consistent
symptom-ology, things like that. But just something to
consider when we’re talking about this diagnosis. So now I just wanna
have a little real talk. Reactive Attachment Disorder is something that usually occurs in physically or emotionally abusive family systems. Not always, this can happen,
like we said from foster care, there can be a lot of other
situations and scenarios that cause children to develop this. But, that is, you’re gonna see what the treatment options are and I just wanna put that out there, because it’s children
who are usually helpless to their environment, can’t
do much to get out of it, and so they kind of take it inside, and often will just cut off from people. They might not even cry
when they hurt themselves. They’ll just curl up and
they wanna look away, they don’t wanna attach to
anybody because it’s not safe. It doesn’t feel safe, because
maybe they’ve been abused, or maybe they’ve seen someone be abused. Or maybe they’ve seen something
that’s really traumatic that no one talked about
and no one explained, but they just didn’t feel safe. So, a lot of the treatment
options you’ll see, fall under like, familial
support and parent training, and all of those things,
and that’s really why. Because it happens when we’re young and it usually happens because
of some kind of trauma, abuse situation, being passed around, not being able to properly
attach to a caregiver. And that’s really important
in our development. Now there are four treatment
options that I’ll talk about. And the first, I’m just
looking at my notes, because I take notes, is family therapy. And it’s just like what I said. Because the situation is
usually occurring in the family, or has occurred in the family, it’s important for the whole
family to work together to start talking about it. Especially if there’s more than one child, chances of the other children
having it too are very high. And so we wanna make
sure that we’re changing the way the family interacts, the way the family talks about it, and just overall improving
their function as a whole. The second option is individual therapy and/or play therapy for the child. This can be great and I always, if it is one child
who’s really struggling, I would always recommend that
they get their own therapy or play therapy, because
sometimes in family situations, as children, they can feel
fearful of speaking up, because of what may happen in the family. And so, giving them that
one-on-one time can allow them the support and
guidance to talk about what’s really scaring them,
or what really happened, and get the help that they need. The third treatment option, and something that I actually
used to teach, funny enough, is parenting skills classes. And these can be everything
from how to manage an infant, and ways to better deal with that, to how to properly discipline a child, and even, and I used to teach these, how to manage teenagers, because we know it can be hard, right? And so they may want you to
take a bunch of different ones, they may ask the parents to talk about disciplining the child, especially if there’s abuse present or if it was a trauma related
to something like that. Also, they’ll make you
take communication classes, and better ways to
communicate with a child. All of those different types
of classes are available. And those are things that may be forced upon you through legal action or something that you may
get from your therapist that you’re seeing,
either in family therapy or individual therapy. Then the fourth, and
final treatment option, and it’s not so much a treatment option as it is just extra support and aid, is special education services. If your child is in school, there are so many different things, I know I’ve talked about IEPs, which are Individualized Education Plans. There are a lot of things
that schools can do to better support your
child if they’re struggling. Because Reactive Attachment
Disorder can mean that they don’t even, they
might not even pay attention, they might struggle to pay attention, they might be really shy,
they might not make friends. School may be a really difficult
area for them to be in, and an area for them to navigate. And having some support
in the school system can really, really help. There are services available, sometimes we just have to ask for it. I hope you found this helpful. If anybody that you know
is fostering children or in that system,
please share this video, it’s so important. The more we talk about this,
the more we’re aware of it, and we can catch the symptoms early, and get them the support they
need before it gets harder. And if you want more information on this, click over here! And if you’re new to my channel and haven’t subscribed, why not? Click over here to subscribe, and if you wanna see what
I’m doing on the regular, click any of these little icons to follow me all over the social medias. And I’ll see you next time. And aid, is um. Jesus. Jesus. Just pray, pray it gets over with. Now the diagnostic criteria of
Reactive Attachment Disorder, wow that’s a mouthful, let me start over. Three is rearing in unusual
settings that severely limit opportunities to form
selective attachments, the op– the opp. (blubbering) Get it together.

100 Comments found

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Myrrhe Clippelaar

hi kati i have a qeustion i have rad and ptsd so do you have tips ?

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Aaron -

Great video. Your simple gestures and animated way of presenting the material makes it fun and engaging. Subbed.

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Memes Ahoy

I have such a intense RAD but I have always been a "normal" kid. My family has never been abusive and I am not adopted or anything. My mom has tried a lot to get me to a doctor and therapy and almost everything that can imagine. I am on a anxiety and RAD medicine but since that I have had suicidal thoughts. The worst part is that I am only a eleven year old sixth grader and have transferred a lot of school because of bullying incidents but I have always had a lot of friends. Just thought I should share it just invade anybody else feels this way so you don't feel alone 😊

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animationfan squad

i have it to

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Sultan Alshbair

Is the attachment issue happens with adult?

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Aniedu Ugochukwu

Hey Kati! please can you make a video on Substance use disorder?

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Eliza Tillsworth

aha I have rad. thanks for the vid relearning stuff

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Avril Vishnevski

I've been diagnosed with borderline traits and have been in DBT therapy for two years with no success. My condition seems to be worsening. At this point, I've completely withdrawn from society. My therapist and I believe I may have RAD. Is it possible to treat if I'm 21? And is so, do you have any suggestions, residential programs perhaps?

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Gelena

IF you're new to my channel & if you haven't subscribed to my channel: why not? lol  I seriously <3 her she's knowledgeable about psych

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Brent Arnold

Kati, I have been talking to a 22 year old girl for 3 months who now lives in Tbilisi, Georgia. She was an orphan from Russia. It's been a wild emotional ride, where she said after week 3 please don't ever leave me! To She loves me and I'm her soul mate after 1 month. Long story short I'm trying to figure out if she is a sociopath or maybe have RAD. She lies consistently. She went me pics of her that are not her and also pics that are her. The pics look very similar and I found the other girl online and confronted her about it. She says she has had a bad car wreck and can't send me real time pics or face-time. She won't even let me talk to her on the phone. I know this sounds like a scam, but she has too many pics of her all the way back from when she was in her early teens. Should I just say good bye even though that is not in my nature.

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KiwiHorseProductions

Can RAD be a precursor to BPD?

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Hope Donathan

I am 17 and was diagnosed when I was 10 the weirdest thing was I didn't get help until then so I was adopted and didn't think I was safe with my adoptive parents because I wasn't "their bio child" also I didn't know emotions ive had 22 counselors which is also stressful but until I was 15 I had never been introduced with the emotion wheel so it is extremely hard for me to figure out what I'm actually feeling and just cry but never know if it's sad happy mad, but it's getting better

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The New GamerMan

how do you help adult with this Reactive Attachment Disorder

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JH P

In my adoption papers, when I was handed over to the adoption agency at about a year and a half, it sounds like I was actually exhibiting some of these behaviors. I would never go get my food like the other kids. I would basically just watch everyone eat until someone had to bring me my food. I'd often sit in a corner away from the other children either quietly doing nothing, having crying outbursts or eating paper…which sounds a bit odd. When I was adopted my adoptive parents didn't understand why I didn't want to look at them or was showing limited reactions to things. Like pretty much everything, they took it personally and assumed that I was somehow doing this to hurt them. To this day they actually think I was doing it on purpose to spite them. Of course I don't actually remember these younger years, it's information I've gotten from the adoption papers and my adoptive mother trying to make me feel guilty for being such a problematic child.

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Tayla B

I'm starting to think this might be my twin brother, except he didn't go through anything traumatic. He's 17, and he is so withdrawn, he mumbles to my parents and barely interacts. He doesn't have any friends at all, and hasn't been out with friends at all, (like throughout primary and secondary school) he doesn't seem to show much emotion, he does sometimes but like not a lot :/ if I tell him he needs to do something he immediately gets annoyed at me, it's like it escalated quickly. I just want to know what's wrong with him, because something isn't right. I suffer with anxiety myself and my mum is a helicopter parent, and doesn't seem to recognise that my brother needs help, that he needs to be more confident in order to function in the real world. Really not sure what to do :/

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S.O.S Leader

I am diagnosis with RAD its hard to live with it and its really hard to keep friendships

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Sandy Deatherage

It's just Not Just That Simple…

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EddLeavy Miller Jr

I was diagnosed with this at the age 14 and was dealing with this for 7 years now

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gomezy3k

I was almost a year old when I was adopted from an orphanage. My adopted mother used to laugh about how I rarely laughed or smiled, and that I could stare down adults at 1 year old. She was proud because she could take me places and put me in a corner with a few toys and I would sit there and play by myself and not "run around like all the other little heathens". I grew up as an only child and spent almost all my time alone, even at school. I seem to fit many of the diagnosis for RAD and have also been diagnosed as being a Schizoid Personality.

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bronwyn miller

My mother used this disorder to gain coustdy of my daughter who was almost 6. I was a young single mom and she was left with my mother most of the time when I was working to support her. I never believed this diagnosis since she didn't have anything tramatic happen to her when she was in my care, now after six years of court, never seeing a judge and having another daughter I have not seen my oldest in two years due to the emotional, mental and verbal abuse I am subjected to around my mother. it's sad, I feel stuck and there is nothing I can do, my oldest daughter is now 11 and I'm just counting down the years until she is 18, since my mother has her listed as an incapacitated minor, to explain to her why mommy and daddy wasn't there.

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Gabriela Alvarez

I have this and I have a daily struggle.

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H M

What is the treatment for adults with RAD and what is the prognosis for recovery?

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TheDamnbats

Sociopathy/Psychopathy? These individuals have the potential to become truly dangerous? I think so.

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Skankle doodle skank

Does this relate to narcissistic parenting and borderline development?

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Sana Jawed

i stay completely abusive environment before my marriage in my marriage
now i accept abuse all the time from every one

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Sock Owe

Please, can you do a video on Adult RAD? I have a 23 yr old son who I think may have it. I talked with him about it…..I want to say that it went well, but I think he took it wrong. We adopted him at age 7. I always thought he was shy, but now that he's older it seems to be more than that. I want to help him and get us both on the same page. He's also an ex-Marine. I just need him to show empathy….to care…to value people. Right now he's hit or miss with that, mostly miss….unless it's his close friend and even then it feels like an act.
Thanks.

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Jillian Smith

This is how I often have felt and often feel, but as a child I was spanked, very hard, if I didn't act happy all the time.  Seeking comfort was forbidden.  Getting hugged for falls?  Nonsense!  You fell on purpose, so you go to bed right now and quit looking for wympathy!  I smile and laugh but often feel dead inside.  I don't care about a lot of things.  And then suddenly I'm shaking and crying with caring for something–someone's misery, a tragedy, news, etc.  I feel disconnected from reality.  But I act and look OK until you get to know me fairly well.  THEN the cracks appear.  Well.  Maybe they appear sooner than that but I don't know.  Diagnosed with CPTSD.  3 years NC from worst malignant narcissist after 61 years of abuse.  Maybe all 3-year olds feel kind of wobbly and weird  emotionally.

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Terry Vannoy robinson

This is me I was in 13 Foster homes I have things I don't remember I still struggle with it today Hard to explain but it's very hard

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Avril Stacy

My son has RADD, sad that a child who was healthy and happy while he lived with me was intentionally alienated from me due to the abusive musical system in Norman Oklahoma. Liam was a special needs baby when he was adopted and rocked and had been malnourished. I suspected abuse and neglect in the orphanage. Under my care he flourished and was very healthy up until the time he was seized by my ex domestic partner and her attorney. Sad to see him struggling.

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Crystal Child

Could this happen due to Neglect in Children?

If the Child is isolated and neglected by parents?

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mgvideos1000

My child has rad. I'm at 1:33. Rad can also be where they seek comfort from anyone but mom. When my little was very small, she would let me hold her if she had gotten an owe, but would rarely let me help with it.

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Karicat Watts

What is the name of the disorder that stems from crying out for help when you are little and your parents don't respond, when they do respond they do so with a mean face and are rough with you physically and brow beat you for needing help.. Starting at as early as one can remember. And in the child's early adolescence the parent has become immune to the crys for help and when has to help goes as far as to institutionalize the early adolescent who is simply still needing to feel safe secure and loved and believed in… Because this still crying baby is now pre teen and hasn't the slightest idea and it doesn't occur to the child that the parent simply can't meet his or her needs…. This pattern continuing on until pre senior Citizen age. Cuz I really need some help on this and don't know what type of therapy to seek out.
My parents have never known what my needs were and are. I have been stuck in arrested development, I'm starting to see. I'm stubborn as F. I'm willing to get over that and up to date in my 51 year old development.
It's actually quite humorous but it really is extremely traumatic right now. I'm having major flashbacks of my childhood. My parents spoiled me and abused me. They throw me to the wolves then rescue me. This has conditioned me to not be able to make big decisions for myself. It has kept me in a mindset that I can't trust myself and not allowed me to become fully independent and flourish as we are led to believe we are all uniformly supposed to be at some miraculous age in life.
Help me with this, if you just take the first part of my babble. I do hope you read this and can steer me. I have good insurance.

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Orchard Services

If you are in the Atlanta area call (770) 686-0894 or email us at [email protected] We help families with children with various disabilities, including reactive attachment disorder.

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Michael Kelligan

Kati….you really should give other examples of what can cause RAD instead of reiterating abuse and neglect,my boy is 8 has RAD ODD and ADHD and it annoys me to no end that you couldn't give at least one example of other ways to develope it! I don't abuse or neglect my boy yet he has it none the less. He's actually my nephew and I've taken care of him since he was 6 months old but for all intents and purposes hes my boy! This video was VERY disappointing!

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Alice Ingham

What about adult RAD?

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Kat Fairaway

Does this apply to adults? I feel like the description applies to the past of a close friend – and now exists in adulthood.

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Abby M

I'm almost 18, but I strongly identify with this. I grew up in an abusive home which i have escaped. Even now whenever i feel upset or hurt I hold in my reactions. If I can't let it go without reacting I find somewhere to hide before I cry, and feel a lot of shame when someone finds me. It makes me feel digusting when people see me upset.

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damnmess

omg I never saw her outtakes before 😂

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cyclone Featherstone

Hi I'm 21 years old I got diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder at the age of 18 I find it hard to trust people because I've been through a very difficult upbringing

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Lorraine Grant

Kati – you are one of the best and most clear and interesting psychology speakers which I have found on Youtube. Well done!

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James George

I like the fact that you shouted out people who have supported your channel, very gracious of you.

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beinrangel

It isnt #radnotsad anymore its #sadandrad

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Happy go lucky

It would be great if you did a video about how it affects you in adulthood.
Ive been diagnosed and would like some more understanding of rad and what it brings to the table of life ha..

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sky peters

I don’t know what trauma I experienced, other than I was adopted at a young age from a bad Chinese orphanage. But I don’t understand why I was diagnosed because I don’t remember any trauma

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Dead Wrong

Howdy Partner. lol

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Robin Hagle

My little brother cj has this and lately he's been screaming and very defiant like 2-3 times a day for the past week can anyone give my family advice? EDIT: he's 7 years old and came from a bad home and he is so attached to Roblox and Ghostbusters

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Celina K

Old 3:50

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Lydia Mccafferty

What if you saw your mother get emotionally abused by men for as long as you can remember, in my case 3yo; could that be considered emotional trauma and qualify for a reason to not be able to emotionally attatch or to over attatch or have an attraction to men who are mean or rude to us?

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Faith Holmes

I’m diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and RAD ?? They’re written on the same confidential papers and everything, my profile for behavioral therapy.

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BriLovesPennywise Briones

I came here because of Beth Thomas

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Serenity Scratch

If you feel hopeless and you have RAD, check out "Child of Rage"

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Eva Hoerler

This is RAD! 😂

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Odelette Blue

I never heard about this disorder

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Blue Piper

Thank you for spreading awareness, keep on making videos!

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Monica Marsden

Sorry but the reason I'm confused by this video is because every book, article or other source that I've read about RAD indicates that the disorder is stemmed from a child not having a stable or proper bond with his / her caregiver from as young as an infant (example: neglect). The only cause you describe is childhood abuse and / or trauma and I don't think that really correlates to the basic attachment disorder. Perhaps Borderline Peraonality or another personality disorder. You didn't mention anything about neglect and neglect is the key offender in attachment disorder.

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Catch A Case

I got a challenge for you imagine a child multiple mental disorders diagnosed ODD ADD ADHD and PTSD as well as attachment disorder how could you possibly diagnose end treat this individual for each one?

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vick Zx

I got The End by the doors in between her videos 😛

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Melissa B

The problem is if the family system is extreme enough to cause this dire of a diagnosis, are the members responsible willing to take parenting classes? I know I had/have this and I can't imagine my parents cooperating.

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Talia Ronen

A lot of the time i think i could have specific disorders like this one but then i realise i only act like this at home and when i am at school/with friends all these symptoms "disappear" so I don't know what to think anymore

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Dryer Machine

Lmao dawg you described me to a Tnexcept for the random moods

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Armygirl represent

Hey Kati I just had a question. Do you think that everyone necessarily needs a disorder? Like I feel like Disorders are kind of a way to categorize people and I was just wondering on your respective take on it? A lot of therapists have different views and I was just wondering since I have a disorder.

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TheTailoredBy

I am in care and was abused and left home at a younger age I had 5 different guardians and this has never held me back in now 12 and my melbtel health issue eg. Rad can't stop me

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Jennavieve&Natalie E

There's so much here I'm not sure I agree with. As a parent who lives with a child with rad I just don't feel like these Therapies are enough or would actually work. I actually feel like they would worsen things. My child with rad would live for those sessions of play therapy! Attention from an outsider who they might manipulate with play. And as far as family sessions the child would just say nothing… Believe me I don't know what works but I'm going to keep trying things till something does

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T h i c c e n the chicken

I wasn’t abused, adopted or traumatised as a younger child but I’ve still got this and thanks to it I’ve driven my friends away. Just for once I wish “go away!” Would come out as “I’m afraid, and I need you right now” and “I hate you!” Would come out as “I love you, but I’m afraid you’ll reject me if I say that”. But my friends don’t get this and I don’t blame them. Living with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and RAD is hell and I’m scared. Why did this happen to me?

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Kate Hatfield-Thorburn

I’m 22 and had a traumatic childhood and have been diagnosed with RAD

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OffToNeverLandIAm CatchMeIfIFlyAway

I was diagnosed with attachment disorder when I was 5. Then I was diagnosed with autism at 11 😔

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SalmonInYour Rice

I think I was in a class like that as a child. Everyday, a lady would come into my larger class and take me and a few other students to a separate area and I thought it was for kids who had really good reading skills or something. But the more I think back to it, it felt like group therapy, like she was trying to get us to talk and do cognitive exercises. I didn’t talk as a child very much and I want to ask my mom about it. My aunt, when we were talking about my sisters undiagnosed mental health which is very apparent btw, she said she was worried about me as a child as well. So now I’m just very curious but I’m afraid to ask more questions about it because the way people talk about me being quiet makes me feel defensive. Particularly my mom. Or she’ll just say there’s nothing wrong with me.

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2012endofanerror

Sounds like it could be confused w/ autism.

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European Gal

Raising a child with R.A.D. has no doubt been the most difficult thing I have ever done. However, actually having first had experience I can without a doubt tell you what has and has not worked for us. Now, I will use the term R.A.D. just because I do not want to release my child’s, now teenagers name. So, for all who get offended please take a look at the information I have vs the terminology I am using. I also, want to mention "we" have been raising our RAD for 11 years now as we are a combined family.

#1- Raising a child with RAD is hard. Don't feel bad in trying to figure out what the heck is going on and do educate yourself. *Read literature
* Join a support group (Online is best since we know you have no time)
*Speak to therapist who are certified in D.B.T (Dialectal behavior Therapy) and make sure they actually have the certification because its crucial. I promise.
** For God Sakes take a D.B.T. course some places are free. They are about 12 weeks. This is extremely helpful. You meet with other parents that have RAD children and talk about how to parent, work with your RAD. You create real live bonds.

#2- Make sure your medical team is on board.
*Keep a log of medications (How your RAD reacts to them)
*Keep a log of any abnormal / violent behaviors (Keep in a safe place) – This helps with keeping track on the progression of behaviors and since RAD has an issue with "Triangulation." and false allegations. Keeping a log helps show that you are doing your part as a parent/guardian and keeps a paper trail.
*Have semiannual medication meetings so you can make sure your RAD is on the correct medications. I took us 5 years until we got it right and it was so violent our RAD was homicidal towards myself, pets and young children. "Lemectal and Seraquil worked for us”. "Lithium was scary and destroyed our RAD” This is just our experience that I am sharing but you may have a different outcome.

#3- Make sure your child’s school is on board:
* Call a mandatory meeting with your Principal, Teachers, nurse, School resource officers & bus driver. Explain what RAD is in brief. It will take hours so hand them a copy of what RAD (Found online from a reputable source) write down all names who attended. Now, make a safety plan and behavioral plan. This will help keep all on board and they will work with your child. Instead of constantly expelling your RAD they will have a plan in place. When all else fails and they exhausted all avenues then they can seek an alternative school. I say this because alternative schools can make them worse. RADs are easily influenced so it wouldn't help to send them to a school with problematic children. Additionally, if they become violent they know to keep an eye on your RAD. Don't get all defensive about this other child need to be safe too. We actually had our RAD have to walk straight to principal’s office for a bookbag check since RAD started to find ways to bring weapons from others to school We came up with a plan and it prevented this. Trust me!

#4- For parents/guardians with other kids in the home (Your RAD isn’t the only kid in the house) be mindful of that:
* Do not allow your other children to suffer (You don’t want to hear it but it’s the truth)
*All kids are NOT the same. It's ok for your other child to have friends and go out without RAD to have a break. * Spend time with your other children when your RAD is not around. "They will resent you if you only focus on RAD" Don't say I didn't warn you to have bigger problems if you don't.

#5- Therapy:
* Family Therapy is #1- This helps build bonds with your RAD. All family should attend
* Therapy without your RAD- "I know you’ll feel different about this" RAD is traumatizing for all and you all need to learn how to cope and use skills without your RAD being present, so you may truly allow yourself to learn during this time.
* I am sorry but individual therapy for a RAD child is a H e double hockey sticks NO. "For us" at least. These kids are easily influenced, coerced and can be groomed. Not to mention TRIANGULATE, TRIANGULATE, TRIANGULATE………..and False allegations out the wazoo. If Therapist or police feel they are endangering they should be removed. However, allowing your RAD therapy alone only helps them try and control situations that try to create and are negative. What is that a therapist can do with a child without the whole family present? and one that has attachment disorders? That is the worst thing in my opinion and the opinion of the facility that we have used previously has said. Never separate family from RAD it makes it worse.

#6- Respite:
*Look for it, find it and use it. If you don’t " You will not regret it" don't exhaust yourself. no need to. why? how can you help someone if you can’t help yourself.
* Use respite to shower, sleep in, spend time with your other kids, have a mini staycation

#7- Find the best facilities in the area for help:

We used a place called "Hillside in ATL Georgia" the best place hands down. Our RAD has been hospitalized 23 times. After that time our RAD never went back. You know why? because they are doing it right. If you aren't in Georgia call them and ask them for recommendations. I would use their recommendations. They are top of the line no nonsense care. Their own gardeners and Janitors know how to communicate so your RAD will realize real soon that they cannot be pulled into "Triangulation"

#8- Electronics:
* Absolutely – No Social media- I am not arguing about this. You have been warned.
* No personal cell until you and spouse agree on age and it has
* Social media blocked
* Internet blocked
*Tracking on it in case they runaway or go missing
*Has a feature on it that only allows calls, text from people on a list you provide your cell company
*Change all of your passwords semi annually
* Allow your RAD to use the computer under an account you have set up for them that you monitor
* We learned the hard way of a person saying they would show up to have sex with our RAD and gave our address out.

#9- Friends
* Keep your friends close who support you
* Drop those friends who don’t support you. (You may lose friends because of behaviors your RAD might exabit towards them or their children)
* Use as much family support as you can

#10- Accountability:
* Do not be that parent that says, " oh they do that because they have RAD" NO
know that will set them up for failure. You have to make the accountable for every action they do. Even if you think they aren't learning. I have broken our RAD from very bad habits
(Punching, hitting, kicking, using weapons, mutilating animals, picking, hoarding (Food, blood, urine, feces, pubic hair, nails, skin), purposefully holding their urine or feces, these things I was able to help our RAD stop doing because of accountably.

I am so sorry for the long post. I am currently writing a book and working on a TED TALK. I am a parent. Not a Therapist. I am not knocking them. I do know first-hand living with a child with RAD 24/7 to know what my experiences are. I don't get to go home at the end of the day to a house in order. I don't get to check out or take off. You may not agree with this and the way I do things, but I know what has worked for us.

last but not least……Show them love, show your kids love, show your spouse love and LOVE YOURSELF. <3

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James Cue

I kinda love you 😍

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nick laizure-mcdowell

I was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder at 8 but since I was adopted at 9 everything about my childhood was withheld until i turned 18 (this past july) that combined with realizing i’m an infj personality type has really given me clarity on me as a person so thank you for the video it really helped! All i had to go off was some random websites that seemed credible but i wasnt sure, and my documents from when i was a child from my doctors

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Abdul Rahman

HI Kati. What an awesome work. Thank you. I find your videos very nicely done for general population. In this one you missed C 1 and 2. Perhaps consider mentioning any missed criteria if you need to skip for time constraints. Keep up the good work.

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MacKenzie Kelso

I struggle with all the symptoms of this, but I dont remember much from my childhood. I know my parents were going through a nasty divorce from my conception to 4 years of age where my mom was devastated snd my dad left the picture. I just dont know, and I'm saying this cause I had almost constant household turmoil from 10-17, and I'm pretty certain you can develop RAD at a later age, but since I dont remember my childhood much at all, good or bad memories, I dont know, maybe i was affected before i was 5 but dont remember. I just do know that your relationship with your kids is just as crucial at adolescence too, because since my mom was so hateful and would only show love when she got something out of it and kicking us out at 16 and blatantly hating us and wanting nothing to do with us, but then forgiving her, only to be heartbroken again not long after. I literally csnt show love. Sometimes I want to so bad, I want to tell the people in my life what they mean to me, but I just cant. I cant have a connection, even wearing my nametag at work is vulnerable to me. I cant except help or a favor from anyone, because in my past my mom would make me feel guilty for everything she did for me. Idk I'm not just complaining, I'm saying the relationship I had with my mom who was my only adult figure or caregiver in my life, in my adolescent years greatly greatly greatly affected my present personality and the things I struggle with.

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Robin Hagle

My little brother has RAD and this video helps thanks so MUCH kati

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Silverdoe26 M

Kati, I don't remember what I experienced as an infant, under 2yrs of age. I am thinking some kids may have been inappropriately touched or handled by parents that may not be fully aware, and or curious. Not treated as a separate entity worthy of respect but more like a play thing, which may or may not include sexual contact. Do you have any experience with this, either with patients who DO remember these experiences, or parents that later confess/feel guilty? If you have any experience or knowledge with this topic and how it may show up later in life and how to deal, I WOULD APPRECIATE A VIDEO ON THIS TOPIC. Thanks so much, your videos are very helpful and enlightening.

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Laura Taylor

#Me 😭

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kaitlyn rangel

my mom is a drug addict and has a lot of mental health issues like bipolar and schizophrenia she was in and out of treatment since I was born so I would go to foster care while she was there but she would get me back after she got out of treatment but eventually I got taken away from her when I was 8 and I moved in with my grandma and she took me to a psychiatrist and I got diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder

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Max Rota

To those asking about it affecting adults: Even if you get treatment, it is still something you will likely have to deal with for the rest of your life (Diagnosed or not).

I'm 30 years old; Was taken away from my birth family at 6 months old due to child and drug abuse. Was seperated from my 5 sisters (whom I have no idea where they are to this day). Went through 7 different foster families and a couple different shelters before I was 5, after which I met my adoptive family. While I got therapy, I was still emotionally and physically abused by my adoptive mother, and unfortunately a lot of that help was put to an end by my adoptive mother, who got furious and threatened not to pay a therapist when they mentioned that she might not be helping my overall emotional state. Moved around from town to town every 3 or 4 years, meaning a new school every 3 or 4 years (generally with the excuse that the school districts were better where we were going…). This continued until I was 16 years old, at which point I was blamed for my parents marriage falling apart and was sent back to the group home (I would like to point out, I had a 3.6 GPA in school at the time and had never been arrested or anything). Aged out of the group home and have been trying to make it through life since. Tons more to that story, but I'd hafta enlist a publisher, haha.

I have a combined total of 14 years of therapy for related issues. Most of which was when I was young and it ended up being extremely helpful but also led to a really strange sense of self-awareness that almost henders my actions in life. That being said, I still find RAD to affect my life, from friendships to relationships. From what I understand, it's almost like a neurological hardcoding of your brain. While you can train yourself to not react so severely to the RAD emotions/fear/etc, they will always be there.

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Wendy 73541

Damn I really be finding out an other problem with me every year depression anxiety body dysmorphia an eating disorder and now attachment issues well makes sense of why I am the way I am

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Baby Meeks ю

I was adopted from russia. More like a money scam back in 2003. My mother started drinking when i was 6 months old. Most of my memory is gone from baby to 11. I have little memories like being at different houses with my mom and different men. And much more. My grandma commited suicide by hanging and i found her. When i was adopted i hated that woman(for a good reason). She works in the medical field but she never got. Therapy after ripping me a ways from my home. Anyways. At the begining i would attach to pelple easily. I would see a family and i wanyef to be with them instead of the person who adopted me. Times pass. Out of high school. Working. And smoking weed. I didnt need it. But wanted to see. Them at work a guy triggered me. He was bringing back memories from russia and i felt that i was helpless(i have no clue why) anyways. Along the way i became meaner and less sympathetic.. To the point now where i have several episodes a day where anger takes over and the onky way ill get over it is either kixk and scream until the episode is gone or smoke. As soon as i smoke its like taking water to a hot rock.i am always negative. I cannot seem to see a positive. I have way to much fear I do not know what is going on with me. I need advice and knowledge. Anything.

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Wayne S

I've been diagnosed with autism but know for a fact that I do not have autism. Pretty sure that I suffer from trauma and emotional neglect. An attachment disorder may be there too.

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Sarah Swift

While I admire the intention of this video, RAD was presented as one note. There are two forms of RAD and you seem to be discussing the Inhibited variety. On the opposite end of Inhibited RAD is Disinhibited RAD and it is a terrifying disorder. The behaviors carried out by a child who falls in the Disinhibited RAD category can be detrimental to the development and wellbeing of other children in the home and often leads to extreme caregiver fatigue, isolation due to the child's behaviors, as well anxiety/PTSD/etc. Both types are heartbreaking and treatment success rates are discouragingly low. It's an important illness to understand. Thank you for addressing it! xo

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bananian

I am RAD

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Marc Padilla

Im gonna write my own DSM.

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Kermit the frog here Someday well find it

My little brother has it (he is adopted) nancy Thomas has helped my family alot

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S K Doyle

Me. Just my therapist thinks it and I haven't had a diagnosis but it seems extremely clear to me and my family I have and do suffer from this.

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Loli Pop

i have rad and this video was incrediably helpful thank you

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Generic Channel

Eek! You spelt attachment wrong in the thumbnail 😣😖

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Indefinite Detention

Yeah I'm totally RAD 😎

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Ari 2552

Wow !! Meeeee

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Shawn-Taylor Felipa

Yeah it sucks, seeing your schizoaffective mother beat your brother up first then its your turn n then you can cry out while listening to your little brothers screams going thru you bone, those things cannot be forgotten. every time she came back to comfort us and cry with us, confused me. From the age of 1 dragged away from home and coming back at 2 1/2 yrs to just 'go again' at 7yrs but that time it was a permanent measure . Well what i know is that this disorder can end up fatal in many cases, then i'm talking about developing serious depressions, anti social and other personality disorders eating disorders and low frustration tolerance can make your life a lot less enjoyable. lived in 16 different places in The Netherlands , getting to know people all over again after just getting to know the previous care takers. I still dont like people with authority, and to show socially desirable behavior all the time is exhausting, especially if you forget it. now im feeling a colder heart everyday i wake up…you dont trust people but other people to much it never it never falls into place. sometimes becoming emotionaly unavailable, and somedays simply not feeling emotions and just filling in the blanks for reactions based on experiences, what you saw other people do in those situation and the empty feeling on the inside is the worse. its like being stuck between walls of wood with only a lighter in your pocket okay let me turn this vibe off and watch dog fails compilations b4 i write a whole story

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gill426

Okay but like it says "RAD", so I wouldn't worry too much, people are still awesome! 😉

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harvssasha .gaymer

I’ve got rad and I’m 13

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Phoenix Pleiades Starr

I don't have RAD because I don't have certain symptoms such as a lack of empathy or a lack of remorse, and in fact, I have "hyperempathy", but I DO believe that I may have very mild attachment issues at the very least.

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melon melon

Can adults have this?

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Kathleen Kendrick

I can understand how the diagnostic manual can't tell the difference between autism and RAD because the presentations can be very very similar. If not identical. In appearance. But…I can distinctly tell the difference between an autistic meltdown in myself and in a reaction to my trauma. It looks the same to others…but it FEELS different in my body. Autistic does not mean that you aren't social. So…this part needs to change and I suspect will as more people listen to the experiences of autistic individuals and start to understand more about it. I can assure you, from my experience and what I see to be true, one can absolutely be born with an autistic neurobiology and then experience traumatic event(s) in childhood and develop problems with attachment. Autistic people can have very healthy solid attachments. So…that's my thoughts on that. But I do really like this video.

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Beccas By The Bay #SoapMaker #TinyUrbanHomesteader

can you do a video on how this presents itself when they are older my daughter was dx at age 5 with rad & did. she is 25 now & faking being bipolar & schitzophrenic. How do we help her? DO meds help?

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DeeTOUR Entertainment Agency

I am a 50 year old man that grew up in foster care from the age of 2 and was unable to connect with anybody. At the age of 4 My social worker decided to start me on piano lessons to help me possibly express myself in the form of Music! As an adult.. I still have Never been able to connect with others in any way, emotionally.. girls or just friends even! I have never had a relationship (especially healthy one) with anyone to this day. My present girlfriend and I fight all the time about it because she is the exact opposite of me. ( She's highly sensitive and emotional) I wish I could connect and bond with her but not happening and getting worse! The way I make her feel makes me not want a relationship period!! I now play piano professionally and even wrote a song about bouncing around in foster homes.. YouTube Bobby Dee Keys "Foster Child Blues". RAD IS REAL IN ADULTS AND IT SUCKS 😒!!
Rock Dee House Entertainment

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taxiuniversum

I am somewhere on that spectrum. Last year, I wondered if I suffer from autism. But that was ruled out by an autism expert. So I kept searching. Months ago, I stumbled across the book „Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents“ (Lindsay C. Gibson). It was like someone described my life in almost every sentence of the book.

Life with my parents was an unspeakable horror. What was very confusing to me for a long time was the seemingly contradictory fact that physically, my parents took good care of me. But it felt as if they treated me like an object. I never dared as a small child to seek comfort from my parents. They NEVER struck me as someone I could trust. And, indeed, they were mean, cruel, physically, mentally and emotionally abusive towards me. My father even sexually harassed me. There were no keys allowed in the family bathroom, and my father repeatedly ignored my wish to privacy, to my own room, to my own space.

When I was 12, I was about to „explode“ – there was such an insane buildup of sheer rage in me over all the SHIT my parents were subjecting me to on a daily basis. I was only 12, but I knew, would I have unleashed what was inside me, neither of my parents could have physically stopped me. I decided not to, however out of fear of being singled out in society as someone, who has issues…after all, my horror-parents were well-respected in society, and they had made sure to tell just about everyone bad things about me, almost all of which were not true for years.

AND I did not trust „the outside world“ to help me, either – after all, why had virtually no one seen how I was suffering all this time? Why had no one come to my rescue?

As of now, I am living with almost no friends, have not been in any intimate relationship throughout decades, and am basically uncovering in a painstakingly slow process who I really am, because to a large degree, I don’t know. In meditations, for instance, I can recognize how I have this shell of anger and „frozen“ emotions, that exist just under the surface of my everyday life „facade“.

Looking up this topic on Wikipedia, it becomes obvious rather quickly how the state of research on this condition still is pretty much a joke. So I guess, I‘ll have to keep pioneering much of my way out of this largely on my own, putting together puzzle pieces with for instance the information in this video, and other sources.

It sometimes hurts to see other people happy, joyful, seemingly unburdened. It then looks as if it is from a world I may never be a part of.

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Milli Macro

I was abused once before and a few things new after I went into foster care. I’ve spent years avoiding people, afraid of what they might do to me next. I’m almost 30 now and I’m trying to let people in my life because I have no friends and hardly any family left. I just want to be loved, but don’t know how

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